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fic: Dressing The Part

Title: Dressing the Part

 

Author: fengirl88

 

Rating: NC17

 

Warnings: sexual content, pwp

 

Word count: 1831

 

Fandom: Sherlock

 

Pairing: Sherlock/Lestrade

 

Disclaimer: I don't own the BBC Sherlock or Lestrade. Probably just as well, really.

 

Summary: Sherlock takes Lestrade clothes shopping.

 

Tags: fic, Sherlock, Lestrade, slash, Sherlock/Lestrade, public sex, embarrassment, clothes shopping, pwp

 

A/N: Written in the wake of elfbert 's story Overwhelming Evidence, about Lestrade's inability to see his own handsomeness. Inspired also by the wardrobe genius who dresses Mr Cumberbatch's Sherlock.

 

 

 

Dressing the Part

 

 

He's always hated clothes shopping. But it's never been like this before.

 

Lestrade presses his fist against his mouth to keep from crying out. His knees are buckling, his heart is racing and he knows he can't hold out much longer.

 

He wonders why on earth he let Sherlock talk him into this shopping expedition in the first place. No use wondering. He knows Sherlock can talk him into anything.

 

Can't talk Lestrade into anything right now though. Busy.

 

Lestrade looks down dizzily at Sherlock kneeling on the changing-room floor in front of him. Sherlock on his knees, apparently careless of the havoc this will wreak on his beautifully cut trousers – not a thought Lestrade would usually have, this clothes shopping lark is getting to him in more ways than one. Sherlock's mouth attending exquisitely to Lestrade's aching cock, the bastard's been practising, Lestrade thinks, this is a lot better than last time. Fuck.

 

The voice of an assistant outside the cubicle, asking if there's anything they need, anything he can help with. Lestrade can't speak, and he feels Sherlock laughing against his cock. Jesus. Then there's a rush of cold air as Sherlock releases him just long enough to say “We're fine, thanks.” Sounding as if nothing has happened beyond the usual trying on. Though the usual trying on with Sherlock would never be anybody's idea of normal -

 

Sherlock returns to his labours and Lestrade tries desperately to concentrate on not making a noise. Which is bloody difficult, because he's so close to needing to make a lot of it. And Sherlock knows it. And Lestrade knows Sherlock knows it. And Sherlock knows Lestrade knows – oh god.

 

 

It's the Police Federation's fault really. Went and invited Lestrade to make a speech at some fancy lunch do, invitation came ages ago and in an unguarded moment he said yes, the way you do to something so far in the future you don't really believe it will happen. But it's happening next week, and Lestrade hates making speeches and hates fancy lunches. And has nothing to wear.

 

Not literally, of course, that would be stupid. But nothing for a posh do like that. And he hates clothes shopping. Always has.

 

But he really shouldn't have mentioned the problem to Sherlock. Bound to lead to trouble. Leading there right this minute.

 

 

Sherlock had inspected Lestrade's entire wardrobe, pronounced it impossible, and insisted on a shopping expedition there and then. No use Lestrade protesting that he couldn't afford it, or that it wasn't worth it for one stupid lunch engagement. Or that he could just think up some excuse and not go after all. When Sherlock gets the bit between his teeth -

 

Not the most helpful metaphor, in the circumstances.

 

 

So here they are, in that big expensive department store Lestrade never even goes into, and will certainly not be going into again after today. Not unless he's wearing a blanket over his head to conceal his identity.

 

 

Sherlock had grumbled that it really ought to be Savile Row. Said it was infuriating to see a man with Lestrade's looks so determined not to make the most of himself. Stupid. Wasteful.

 

Lestrade had said Sherlock should stop talking crap, and anyway the answer to the Savile Row suggestion was just three words: Detective. Inspector's. Salary.

 

So, reluctantly, Sherlock had settled for this place, and picked out off-the-peg designer suits and shirts for Lestrade to try on. Had offered to come into the cubicle with Lestrade, an offer Lestrade had rejected rather forcefully. Bad enough having to go clothes shopping at all, never mind having bloody Sherlock gawping at you while you stumble about changing your trousers and trying not to catch sight of yourself undressed in the mirror.

 

 

The clothes had felt surprisingly nice, not the sort of thing he'd usually buy himself. Silk shirt, feeling a bit odd against his skin at first, but rather pleasant. Interesting. He could see why Sherlock liked this sort of thing. That purple shirt of his, for example. Though probably best not to think of how Sherlock feels about his clothes. Or how Sherlock's clothes would feel. Or anything else to do with Sherlock and clothes and feeling.

 

Too late. The combination of silk shirt and Sherlock was already starting to work on him. Embarrassing, amongst other things. But at least Sherlock wasn't actually in there to observe Lestrade's arousal, or decide it would be fun to make it worse -

 

Lestrade stifled a groan. Possibly didn't stifle it quite enough.

 

Are you coming out here so I can see if that works?” Sherlock's voice, irritated, outside the door.

 

Not in that state he wasn't.

 

Give me a minute,” Lestrade said, thinking That was not a good thing to say.

 

Too right it wasn't. He could hear Sherlock huffing to himself about Lestrade's slowness, his ridiculous modesty, and then saying “Oh really!”

 

Followed by the sight of Sherlock's hand coming over the cubicle door, shooting back the bolt and pulling the door open. Lestrade squeaked, grabbing for his own discarded trousers to hold against him. Sherlock was inside the cubicle now, bolting the door behind him and looking severely at Lestrade.

 

You haven't taken all this time to try on one shirt, have you? For goodness' sake, Lestrade, get a move on!”

 

 

The second suit was the right one, Sherlock said, and Lestrade didn't argue. Made him almost bearable to look at, and he doesn't like looking at himself. One of the reasons why he hates clothes shopping, always has.

 

Sherlock's expression suggested he thought the suit made Lestrade look rather more than bearable. In normal circumstances – whatever the fuck those would be with Sherlock – being looked at like that would be rather nice, Lestrade thought. Would be better than nice. Sherlock's eyes seemed darker than usual, and there was a slight flush starting on his cheekbones.

 

Here and now, though, that look was bloody alarming. Was definitely going to mean trouble.

 

Well, better pay for this and get going, I suppose,” Lestrade said hastily, trying to look away but finding he couldn't.

 

Couldn't move at all, in fact. Immobilized by shock at the touch of Sherlock's hands, brushing against the shirt as he slipped the jacket off Lestrade's shoulders to return it to the hanger. Brushing the silk against Lestrade's skin. Lestrade closed his eyes briefly as the sensation of slippery heat went through him. Fuck.

 

Not a good move, closing your eyes with Sherlock around. Really ought to know better by now, but he never does.

 

Lestrade's eyes snapped open at the feeling of Sherlock's hands on him again, now unbuttoning and unzipping the suit trousers, pulling them down and leaving Lestrade with only a silk shirt and his boxers to cover his confusion. Not anything like adequate coverage, in the circumstances. Not even from the gaze of any normal person, never mind from Sherlock with that look on his face. Oh god.

 

The images come unbidden to his mind, that look translating itself into touch. Sherlock's fingers brushing across Lestrade's erection through his boxers, making Lestrade catch his breath and bite his lip unexpectedly hard. Fingers straying teasingly under his waistband, just grazing the head of his cock then withdrawing again so that Lestrade whimpers in frustration. Sherlock's hands sliding up the back of Lestrade's thighs, almost tickling, a sensation right on the edge of pleasure and discomfort. Making Lestrade moan, though he tries to suppress the sound. He has thought of being touched by Sherlock so many times, but he's never imagined anything quite like this.

 

Time these came off as well,” Sherlock said, tugging at Lestrade's boxers with ruthless intent.

 

And we're back in the room. Fuck.

 

No teasing, no caressing, no fancy touches. Just shopping and sucking.

 

 

So here Lestrade is now, God help him, boxers at half-mast, beautiful not-yet-paid-for designer suit trousers round his ankles, disastrously close to coming, worrying about the noise, worrying about the mess, Jesus, what if he gets it on the clothes? And absolutely incapable of not coming, in spite of all that, in spite of the humiliation, the awareness of people all around him, assistants going about their business and chatting to each other, other customers, it's all just making it worse -

 

And Sherlock knows, because he always does. And knowing that, and knowing Sherlock knows he knows it, makes it worse all over again and pushes Lestrade right to the edge -

 

He can feel Sherlock shaking with laughter. Vibrations of it going right through him -

 

Lestrade shudders uncontrollably as he presses his fist harder against his mouth, groaning in spite of himself, and comes in a series of violent spasms.

 

 

 

After a lot of seeing stars and a lot of panting, Lestrade recovers enough to look about him. No tell-tale stains on the new clothes, thank God.

 

Somewhat to Lestrade's surprise, Sherlock – obviously well brought up by Mummy or more likely Nanny – produces a spotlessly clean beautifully ironed white handkerchief. Wipes his own face and mouth and Lestrade's cock. Then yanks Lestrade's boxers back up and shoves the handkerchief down the front of them, which he probably wasn't brought up to do. And which feels a bit weird, frankly, though Lestrade is too weak to protest.

 

Lestrade gets dressed in his own clothes again, fumbling as he buttons and zips himself up with shaky hands. Sherlock doesn't help. Just stands there watching him with a faintly smug expression, the bastard. Lestrade's knees are still pretty shaky, too, and the exit seems a very long way away.

 

Paying for the clothes takes for ever, and the assistant is definitely looking at him rather oddly. Sherlock continues to behave as if nothing has happened, though Lestrade catches a look from him at one point that nearly undoes him all over again.

 

Thank God they're out of here, just need to get the lift to the ground floor now and it'll all be over.

 

Famous last words.

 

The lift doors are still closing when Sherlock grabs Lestrade, pushing him up against the mirrored wall. He presses his thigh between Lestrade's and pulls him close, groping his arse and kissing him hard. Lestrade struggles half-heartedly and hopes to God nobody else wants the lift between here and the ground floor. Sherlock's hands are going everywhere and Lestrade is getting dizzy again. Hasn't seen Sherlock this excited about anything before. Serial killers excepted, of course. Who knew clothes shopping could lead to this? Might even get to like it, Lestrade thinks.

 

Need to get a taxi back to your flat,” Sherlock says, rather breathlessly. “Had an idea about that speech of yours. Want to try it out on you.”

 

Fuck.

 

Lestrade decides he still hates clothes shopping. Especially with Sherlock.

 

He has an uneasy feeling that speechmaking with Sherlock is going to be just as bad.

 

ETA: the sequel to this is now up, in two parts, at my journal:

 Part 1          Part 2

 

 

Comments

( 56 comments — Leave a comment )
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ginbitch
Sep. 14th, 2010 10:18 am (UTC)
Bwhahahahaha! This is hilarious! And hot! I particularly like the the title and the ref to 'Just shopping and sucking.' Oh my, I'm going to have to have a little lie down.
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 10:25 am (UTC)
thank you very much! *grins* so pleased you liked it.

I seem to have reverted to adolescence again but am past caring...

kopoushka
Sep. 14th, 2010 10:46 am (UTC)
Oh, a welcome interlude! Sherlock IS a force of nature, and not a very benign force at that. Resistance is futile
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 10:48 am (UTC)
*laughing helplessly AGAIN at your icon*

glad you enjoyed it. He SO is. and it SO is.

sostrangechild
Sep. 14th, 2010 11:39 am (UTC)
*giggles* Oh, this was BRILLIANT!
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 11:55 am (UTC)
thank you very much! glad you enjoyed it. *grins*
lal111
Sep. 14th, 2010 01:54 pm (UTC)
so hot! wouldn't mind seeing more of this verse. *winks*
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 02:23 pm (UTC)
well, there's always the speechmaking... *grins evilly*
(no subject) - lal111 - Sep. 14th, 2010 04:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fengirl88 - Sep. 14th, 2010 05:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
unovis
Sep. 14th, 2010 02:14 pm (UTC)
Hooray for suit porn!
Loved "Just shopping and sucking" -- and Sherlock is lovely believable.
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 02:25 pm (UTC)
glad you enjoyed it! thank you very much.

there must be whole /dress-rails/ of suit porn waiting to be written about Mr C's wardrobe in this series...
lizachief
Sep. 14th, 2010 04:33 pm (UTC)
heehee! very enjoyable :) poor Lestrade, he can't even go suit shopping without being jumped on...
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 05:18 pm (UTC)
thank you - glad you enjoyed! poor Lestrade indeed. his life is just one damn thing after another... but we can't entirely blame Sherlock for wanting to jump on him.
et_cetera55
Sep. 14th, 2010 04:39 pm (UTC)
Funny and hot! Brilliant! And Lestrade in a well tailored suit.... mmmm....
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 05:22 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! *beams* very glad you enjoyed it.

yes, it's high time Lestrade had something better to wear, though I'm guessing he wouldn't get to spend much time in it...

chocolate_limes
Sep. 14th, 2010 05:51 pm (UTC)
*FLAIIIIIIIILL* HUZZAH!

Oh, Lestrade! OH, SHERLOCK! OH, BOYS! This makes me divinely happy, you've captured the whole scenario fiendishly well, with the fear of discovery and roving shop keepers and devious, devious Sherlock and a developing silk fetish and Lestrade's grumpy-man-hatred of shopping being vindicated merrily by evil Sherlock! So many wonderful lines in there, with the handkerchief and everything and, and, and, JOY!

Particularly love the way you've written this in the present and telling the story in retrospective - I'm sure there are proper words for all that, but I do not know them. I merely know that they are effective and wonderful!

*CLINGS TO THEM*


Lestrade is not going to be able to make this speech without stuttering >:3



...*goes to lie down for a while*
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 06:15 pm (UTC)
thank you so much! *blushes and squeaks*

I am really delighted with this response, the more so because I like your fics a lot.

Lestrade is indeed going to have a /very/ tough time with that speech, poor love...
ladyyueh
Sep. 14th, 2010 07:05 pm (UTC)
I read this while walking to class. I had to stop on one point and just GRIN while reading, because I could not process the absolute hotness and walk without tripping or bumping into people. :D

I love not just the hotness, but how uncomplicated it is. (Relatively) And that Sherlock can't keep from jumping Lestrade at every available moment. GUH
GUUUUUUUH.

Please, do continue. :D
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 07:35 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! so glad you liked it. *grins*

I enjoy having Sherlock jump Lestrade and may well do so again...
ignatius_sparke
Sep. 14th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
I may need to lie down now - Lestrade isn't the only one with weak knees!

Good Lord, Sherlock. What I wouldn't give to have his hands all over me...!
fengirl88
Sep. 14th, 2010 10:35 pm (UTC)
glad you enjoyed this - thanks for commenting!

it is hard not to be mesmerized by the hands...
emeraldreeve
Sep. 15th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC)
Wonderful!
fengirl88
Sep. 15th, 2010 08:51 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! glad you liked it.
schweinsty
Sep. 15th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC)
Wow - well-written and hot :D. Thanks for sharing :).
fengirl88
Sep. 15th, 2010 08:51 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! glad you enjoyed it. it was fun to write...
thinkpink20
Sep. 15th, 2010 08:59 am (UTC)
*grins* This is lovely, just what I needed on a cold and grim morning. Thank you! :)
fengirl88
Sep. 15th, 2010 08:53 pm (UTC)
thank you! I'm very glad it fitted the bill... *beams*
warriorbot
Sep. 15th, 2010 09:30 am (UTC)
Ummm - not much coherent thought available here right now. Because this was HOT and FUNNY and utterly pitch perfect.

More please..? I can't wait to see Sherlock's version of public speaking coaching!

fengirl88
Sep. 15th, 2010 08:57 pm (UTC)
*jumps around excitedly* Thank you! so pleased you liked it. I am trying to get something else written right now but have had some thoughts about a sequel to this one. poor Lestrade...
(Deleted comment)
fengirl88
Sep. 15th, 2010 09:04 pm (UTC)
thank you /so/ much for this! *beaming*

ahaha you read my mind, or possibly predatory, insatiable Sherlock's... have been thinking along those lines or something very like them since I first thought of this fic.

but I could NEVER have imagined Trinny and Susannah in on the act - hilarious! I think you should write that bit...

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