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fic: Madeira

Title: Madeira
Author: fengirl88
Fandom: BBC Sherlock/Maurice (1987) crossover
Pairing: Lestrade/Maurice
Rating: R
Warnings: none
Wordcount: ~500
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the film, or the song.  Spoilers for Theatre of Blood. 
Summary: The guilty pleasures of late night TV.
A/N: written for ginbitch, who requested Lestrade/Maurice at my writing meme.  Thank you to rusty_armour for reminding me about the film in her comment on Obvious.  


Any minute now Vincent Price is literally going to start chewing the scenery, Lestrade thinks.

The guilty pleasures of late night TV: camp melodrama and black comedy. So far in Theatre of Blood they've had a multiple stabbing, a corpse dragged behind a horse, a beheading, and a gruesome new twist on the trial scene in The Merchant of Venice. And now some unfortunate sod's being drowned in a barrel at a private wine-tasting.

“Almost enough to put you off drinking,” Lestrade says reflectively.

“It's supposed to be malmsey, not Chambertin '64,” Maurice says, and winces.

Malmsey,” Lestrade says. “What's that when it's at home?”

“It's a kind of Madeira,” Maurice says with a shudder. “Very sweet and absolutely lethal. First hangover I ever had was because of that. I thought I was going to die.”

Lestrade looks at him affectionately. “Even your bloody hangovers aren't like anyone else's,” he says. “How on earth did you manage to get plastered on Madeira?”

“Got asked to dinner with one of the masters at my school and his wife,” Maurice says. “Boozy evening from start to finish, but it was the Madeira afterwards that did it. Haven't been able to face it since.”

“Can't say I've ever had that problem,” Lestrade says. “Nearest I ever got to the stuff was that song when I was a kid.”

Have Some Madeira, M'Dear. He hadn't understood half the jokes in it, same as usual with Flanders and Swann, but he loved it. Loves it a bit less now he understands what it's about. Some lecherous old Edwardian git getting a girl drunk so he can shag her.

Maurice is looking very uncomfortable all of a sudden, which is a bit odd.

“What?” Lestrade says. Then the penny drops. “Maurice. Don't be so bloody daft.”

Maurice doesn't say anything. Goes on looking guilty.

Oh, for crying out loud. It's true that it all started with that very nice red wine, the one Lestrade ended up spilling on the sofa when Maurice kissed him for the first time. And OK, there were quite a few other very nice bottles of wine along the way before they finally ended up together. But it's hardly the same thing.

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if there'd been any milk in the fridge?” Maurice asks.

Lestrade pulls him close and kisses him until he stops looking guilty. Looks flushed and dishevelled instead, which is definitely an improvement.

“Probably just have spilt tea on your sofa,” Lestrade says fondly. “Or made a pass at you first.”

“I'm not sure I could have kept my hands off you, even on tea,” Maurice says.

He's certainly not doing that now. Lestrade closes his eyes for a moment and concentrates on breathing.

“Do horror films always make you this randy?”

“Never,” Maurice says happily. “Must be you.”

“Only one way to be sure,” Lestrade says. “Turn Vincent off and come to bed.”

This entry was originally posted at http://fengirl88.dreamwidth.org/42283.html where there are comment count unavailable comments.


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 28th, 2011 06:43 pm (UTC)
thank you - I love them as well!

I was brought up on F&S, and - like Lestrade - didn't understand a lot of it till much later.
Apr. 30th, 2011 10:31 pm (UTC)
Just watched Maurice today for the first time! Stories with Lestrade and Maurice are a little head-bendy for me because I'm not sure in which era they're set, but the ease between them is evident and your writing strong. Thanks!
Apr. 30th, 2011 10:41 pm (UTC)
thank you very much - I'm glad you enjoyed it! and very glad to hear you've been watching Maurice, which is a lovely thing.

the setting for my crossovers with the two of them (starting with The Old Bad Songs) is supposed to be the same time as Sherlock - apart from in Dreaming True, where Lestrade's dream takes place in the time when Maurice is set.
May. 1st, 2011 12:45 am (UTC)
Alls I gots to say is that Diana Rigg was lovely in that movie.

“I'm not sure I could have kept my hands off you, even on tea,” Maurice says.

He's certainly not doing that now. Lestrade closes his eyes for a moment and concentrates on breathing.

Sweet the effect Maurice continues to have on Lestrade!
May. 1st, 2011 09:55 am (UTC)
wasn't she just? but then she is splendid. I saw her as Phyllis in Follies (the same year Maurice was made), which was a very fine thing indeed.

yes, Maurice continues to have a notable effect on Lestrade. and vice versa. *grins*

thank you very much!
May. 1st, 2011 12:55 am (UTC)
I do love the way you've combined the Maurice and Sherlock universes. This is sweet and sexy.
May. 1st, 2011 09:56 am (UTC)
thank you very much - glad you liked it! this has become my head!canon to a ridiculous extent, because I love the idea of these two together so much.
May. 1st, 2011 03:43 am (UTC)
I love this so much it pains me a bit. It's one thing when one puts Sherlock & Maurice together. It's quite another when one puts these two together with a DELICIOUS VINCENT PRICE FILLING.
May. 1st, 2011 09:59 am (UTC)
*admires appropriate icon*

thank you very much! very glad you enjoyed it.

the Vincent Price filling is really thanks to rusty_armour, who reminded me about Theatre of Blood in her comment on Obvious. I didn't think about putting it together with Lestrade and Maurice at the time, but obviously my fic!brain decided that This Must Happen.
May. 1st, 2011 02:11 pm (UTC)
really lovely piece that breathes in all the right places! good job making me see and feel the moment as well as *them*. :)
May. 1st, 2011 05:23 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! *beams*
that's a lovely comment to get. very pleased you liked it.
May. 2nd, 2011 12:01 am (UTC)
You're completely spoiling me this week, fengirl88! Thank you for taking that one comment of mine from Obvious and running with it! :-) I'm very sorry it's taken me so long to read and review this story. I fell behind with my fic this week and I'm still catching up. In fact, I might have managed to go longer without reading this story if I hadn't had the good sense to check your LJ for any fic I might have neglected. *g* Anywaaaaaaay, I love the references to Theatre of Blood, not to mention the fact that Maurice knows exactly which kind of alcohol should have been used in the drowning scene. The misunderstanding resulting from that discussion about Madeira is really sweet, especially when Lestrade kisses Maurice to make the guilt go away. Oh, and best of all, it's great that Lestrade wants to make sure it isn't just horror films that make Maurice randy. ;-)

BTW, I'd like to point out that the icon you're using was made by julie_izumi, though I wish I could take credit for it as it's absolutely beautiful.
May. 2nd, 2011 12:29 am (UTC)
thank you very much - I'm glad you enjoyed this, especially as it was your suggestion that planted the idea in the first place!

I'm sorry about the icon mistake - the error crept in when I was crossposting! I used your lovely boathouse icon when I reposted the fic to the comms, but had used julie_izumi's lovely Maurice and profile!Lestrade in this post...
May. 2nd, 2011 12:53 am (UTC)
No worries. I thought the mistake was probably a result of crossposting or something like that. I just wanted to make sure that credit was given where credit was due. :-)
May. 2nd, 2011 01:00 am (UTC)
thank you!
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )


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