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fic: Milk

Title: Milk
Author: fengirl88
Fandom: BBC Sherlock
Pairing/Characters: Sherlock/John, OFC
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Wordcount: ~900
Disclaimer: They're still not mine.
Summary: It's a mystery John can't solve. One of many.
A/N: written for shehasathree's request at my writing meme and for the love_bingo square "Jealousy". Thanks to blooms84 for the original plotbunny, and to ginbitch and thirdbird for additional inspiration.


It's a mystery John can't solve. One of many. They're always out of milk these days, even though Sherlock takes his coffee black, two sugars, and his tea with lemon. Can't work out for the life of him what Sherlock is doing with it, though he must be up to something. Experiments, probably. John groans.

Life with Sherlock is a hell of a lot more fun than life on his own. Though that wouldn't be hard. Before he met Sherlock he was staring at the walls. Trying not to start climbing the walls. Trying not to think about the gun in the drawer. Now life is full of adrenalin highs and chases and all manner of craziness, and he loves it. More than he should, probably.

But sometimes – just sometimes – he'd like a bit of normality. Like there to be milk in the fridge when he gets home from work dying for a cup of tea.

He's back earlier than expected today – the last patient of the day had rung earlier to cancel her double appointment – and he's about to call out to Sherlock when he hears him talking to someone. Talking in a way Sherlock never does, with a caressing note in his voice that makes John's gut clench with jealousy. Not good. None of his business. Sherlock had made it perfectly clear he wasn't interested in John, the first time they had dinner at Angelo's, when John made such a fool of himself he still goes hot and cold all over when he remembers it. John, I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work and while I'm flattered by your interest...

Sounds like he's cheating on his work now, though.

“So gorgeous, aren't you, look at you lying there.”

Oh bloody hell. Trust Sherlock to have no sense of boundaries about where he has sex. Couldn't he just have dragged her off to his bedroom?

If it is a her. Might be a him, and somehow that feels worse. Which makes no sense at all.

John wrenches the door open and strides into the sitting-room, prepared to start shouting the odds. But the bitter reproaches and accusations vanish into thin air at the sight that meets his eyes.

Sherlock is sprawled on the sofa in his dressing-gown, a look of pure bliss on his face. And lying on his chest, purring loudly, is the little tortoiseshell cat from next door. An almost empty bowl on the coffee-table reveals at a glance the solution to the mystery of the disappearing milk.

Or at least a partial solution – this little creature can't possibly account for all the milk that goes missing. John wonders how many cats Sherlock is running and whether they know about each other, or whether it's like the pink lady and her string of lovers.

He shouldn't laugh, but he can't help himself. It's partly relief, and isn't that ridiculous, because really what concern is it of his if Sherlock –

Oh, right.

Just time to think Watson you bloody fool before Sherlock looks up, startled, and says accusingly “You're back early.”

“I know,” John says, and finds he's grinning idiotically all of a sudden. “Sorry to interrupt – I didn't realize you had company.”

The little cat gives him an offended look, stretches itself and climbs down from Sherlock's chest, then jumps up onto the window sill and out through the open window.

“Fuck!” John shouts in alarm, rushing over to peer out after it.

“It's all right,” Sherlock says, “she always does that. It's how she prefers to come and go.”

“Sherlock,” John says, not sure whether to laugh or shake him or possibly both, “how long has this been going on?”

Sherlock shuffles guiltily and says “Three weeks.”

“You could just have said you'd like us to get a cat,” John says.

That didn't come out quite the way he meant it to.

“That would be absurd,” Sherlock says defensively. “Anyway, it's perfectly obvious that you prefer dogs.”

“True enough,” John says, though he doesn't know how Sherlock worked that one out.

Should have known he'd be a cat person, he's so like one himself.

He wonders why Sherlock is looking at him like that.

“Doesn't mean we – you – couldn't have a cat,” John says. “I don't mind cats, quite like them really.”

Oh stop babbling, Watson.

Sherlock gets up off the sofa and takes a step towards him. He looks vulnerable, confused, the way John had thought he looked for a moment that night at Angelo's.

If John's wrong about it this time, it's going to be seriously awkward.

But doing stupid, reckless things seems to be in his DNA.

He twines his shaking hand in Sherlock's hair and pulls him down so he can reach his mouth. It's a clumsy kiss, a clash of lips and teeth and the angles are all wrong, but Sherlock is kissing him back, oh god, and it's the best thing ever.

Until the second kiss, which is even better.

Out of the corner of his eye John sees the little cat appear on the windowsill again. She takes one look at what's going on and turns away in disgust.

He'll make it up to her another time. Has to be worth at least a new cat toy.

He wants them to be on good terms if they're going to be sharing Sherlock, after all.

His last coherent thought, as Sherlock starts unbuttoning his shirt, is Must buy more milk.


The term "OFC" (= Original Feline Character) is stolen from a tribute to carolyn_claire's wonderful coinage, "Original Feathered Character", in relation to thirdbird's "The Case of the Unexpected Guest".


( 44 comments — Leave a comment )
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Apr. 4th, 2011 07:12 pm (UTC)
Finally got in! And Rosie has appeared at my shoulder to check out this important new work. Wait a minute, Tabitha's turned up too! They're obviously pleased by this development.

I'm very glad John appreciates the need to keep the tortoiseshell on good terms. Try a bit of tinned tuna?
Apr. 4th, 2011 07:16 pm (UTC)
very pleased that Rosie and Tabitha approve and that you do too! and thank you for the advice about tuna. *grins*
Apr. 4th, 2011 08:37 pm (UTC)
Apr. 4th, 2011 09:01 pm (UTC)
thank you! *grins*
(no subject) - fenm - Apr. 10th, 2011 06:19 am (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 4th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC)
Ahaha! I approve of the idea of a cat bringing Sherlock, who is much like a large cat himself, and John, who displays doglike loyalty, together. Our cats would approve too if there were some food in it for them. :)
Apr. 4th, 2011 09:03 pm (UTC)
thank you! glad you liked it. let's hope John can stay on the right side of the tortoiseshell. *grins*
(no subject) - lawless523 - Apr. 4th, 2011 09:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kalypso_v - Apr. 4th, 2011 10:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fengirl88 - Apr. 4th, 2011 10:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 4th, 2011 09:05 pm (UTC)
Aaaahhh, OMG, I just died of adorableness. Thank you!
Apr. 4th, 2011 09:08 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! so glad you liked it.
Apr. 4th, 2011 10:33 pm (UTC)
Awwww, cute little cat! :D (and even cuter Sherlock!)

Lovely fic, thanks for sharing! :D
Apr. 4th, 2011 10:36 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! glad you enjoyed it.
Apr. 4th, 2011 10:37 pm (UTC)
that Sherlock is a Cat Person seems so right, and not just because it makes me absolutely ridiculously happy. Love John's struggle with his automatic use of the plural possessive, and his eventual move on his flatmate. Finally! :)
Apr. 4th, 2011 10:41 pm (UTC)
thank you very much - I'm glad you enjoyed this and that it made you happy. *beams*
yes, that "us" caught them both off guard...
Apr. 4th, 2011 10:49 pm (UTC)
Apr. 4th, 2011 10:51 pm (UTC)
thank you very much!
Apr. 5th, 2011 12:05 am (UTC)
:D THIS CONTAINS SO MUCH FLUFFY WIN I CANT STOP CAPSLOCKING. I'm just going to lay on the floor awwing for awhile if that's alright.
Apr. 5th, 2011 12:14 am (UTC)
thank you very much! *waves at you on the floor*
Apr. 5th, 2011 01:55 am (UTC)
Awww thank u for the happy!
Apr. 5th, 2011 10:56 am (UTC)
very glad you liked it - thanks for commenting!
Apr. 5th, 2011 03:23 am (UTC)
LOVE IT! This just made me smile, so BIG! <3
Apr. 5th, 2011 10:57 am (UTC)
thank you! very glad it did.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 5th, 2011 11:07 am (UTC)
thank you - very glad you liked it! I couldn't see Sherlock plus cat when blooms84 first suggested it, but ginbitch's and thirdbird's fics changed my mind. thinking about it, probably the most Sherlockish person I ever knew was like this with cats, though I didn't have him consciously in mind.
Apr. 5th, 2011 01:59 pm (UTC)
I laughed out loud at the idea of Sherlock running a whole string of cats, and the cat being disgusted by their kissing is also very funny.
Apr. 5th, 2011 02:14 pm (UTC)
thank you very much - I'm particularly glad you enjoyed the string of cats idea, which made me laugh when I thought of it.
Apr. 6th, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
sweeet. :)
i loved it. all of it.
Apr. 6th, 2011 09:29 pm (UTC)
thank you very much - glad you did!
Apr. 7th, 2011 04:51 am (UTC)
I'm so behind on my reading b/c of the LJ issues. Ugh. But I'm so glad I finally got to read this. It's incredibly sweet, and I love stories that focus on the domesticity of this pair. Great story!
Apr. 7th, 2011 09:48 am (UTC)
thank you very much - glad you enjoyed it! I like writing domestic scenes for them as well. *grins*
Apr. 8th, 2011 02:43 am (UTC)
This is utterly ADORABLE! I'm a cat person myself, so I can easily imagine how even Sherlock could fall under the charms of this particular tortoiseshell. I love the way you set this up, so that John, in a pique of jealousy, suspects the worse then ends up laughing when he sees what's really going on. And there's something rather hilarious about Sherlock having a three-week love affair (in which he uses up a large part of the milk supply) with a cat. The last four paragraphs of this story are gold:

Out of the corner of his eye John sees the little cat appear on the windowsill again. She takes one look at what's going on and turns away in disgust.

He'll make it up to her another time. Has to be worth at least a new cat toy.

He wants them to be on good terms if they're going to be sharing Sherlock, after all.

His last coherent thought, as Sherlock starts unbuttoning his shirt, is Must buy more milk.
Apr. 8th, 2011 07:22 am (UTC)
thank you so much! *beams*

so glad you liked it. would never have thought of this myself, but blooms84 suggested the reason for the disappearing milk and eventually her suggestion bore fruit!
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( 44 comments — Leave a comment )


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