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fic: To Zurich With Fishcakes

Title: To Zurich With Fishcakes
Author: fengirl88
Fandom: Cabin Pressure/Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Characters: Arthur, Martin, Douglas, Carolyn, May, FitzSimmons, Coulson
Rating: PG
Warnings: none, though spoilers for S1 and S2 of Cabin Pressure, and Helsinki in particular. Takes place some time after Helsinki and Gdansk.
Wordcount: 954
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.
Summary: When the Agents and MJN Air are stranded in Zurich by fog, GERTI meets the Bus.
A/N: A fluffy crossover for [personal profile] thirdbird, inspired by learning that the S.H.I.E.L.D. medical facility is in Zurich. Written for the "flight" challenge at [community profile] fan_flashworks.
Thanks to being_here, ginbitch, [personal profile] kalypso, shezan, [personal profile] theimpressionist and to my fellow Shoobies at ushobwri for their encouragement.

Zurich was the best place ever to be stranded for five hours. The Duty Free shop had even more Toblerones than the Boston one, and Mum was still in a good mood after leaving horrible Auntie Ruth and Kieran in Helsinki, so she’d let Arthur spend as long as he liked choosing which one to buy. Well, nearly as long as he liked. Actually, it was more like ten minutes. But it was still brilliant.

And Douglas met another Customs officer he’d been at school with. What were the odds of that? Douglas’s school must have been amazing. The man was really pleased with the fourteen boxes of fish Douglas had got him from his friend Milo, even though they were one fishcake short because of the one they’d used for Mum’s surprise birthday cake. Douglas’s explanation about giving someone odd numbers of fishcakes being lucky in Finland was really brilliant, though Arthur thought they could just have shown the Customs officer the picture of the cake he’d taken on his phone. After all, it did look pretty impressive with the twenty cigarettes instead of candles. Arthur wasn’t sure what Douglas was going to do with all the cigars the man had given him, but he’d seemed really pleased with them.

One of Arthur’s favourite things about airports was seeing all the other aeroplanes, even though some of them put GERTI in the shade. He’d never wanted to be an aeroplane when he was little, the way Skip said he had till he was six; but if he had, he’d have liked to be that huge black one next to GERTI, because he bet it could go really fast. Skip obviously felt the same, because Arthur had never seen him actually drooling over an aeroplane before.

Skip and Douglas had been really impressed by the pilot, as well, even though she didn’t have a captain’s hat or a proper uniform or anything. That black leather suit must be really hot to fly in. She wasn’t very friendly at first, which turned out to be because she thought Skip was a spy. But then Douglas explained that Martin’s hat was supposed to have that much gold braid on, even if it made it look fake. Skip went all red in the face when Douglas said that, and muttered something about how he wasn’t the one who needed to pretend to be a captain, thank you very much, and then Douglas shushed him so hard he nearly fell over.

The brother-and-sister cabin crew were a lot friendlier, though they turned out not to be brother and sister after all. Which was really confusing, when they were both called FitzSimmons. And they weren’t cabin crew. Arthur got talking to them in the crew lounge, over a glass of pineapple juice. They kept calling their plane the Bus, which was also pretty confusing at first. Apparently it didn’t even have a cabin crew, which couldn’t really be true. Who would do the safety drill and the coffees, or bring the cheese tray, or work the microwave? It didn’t make sense, a big plane like that having a smaller crew than GERTI. He must have got the wrong end of the stick again. Mum did say he’d got the wrong end of enough sticks to make a wrong end of a forest. She’d probably say he was just making it up.

But he wasn’t making it up about them all sleeping on the plane all the time, which was brilliant. The only thing more brilliant would have been if they’d had bunk beds. Arthur always fancied sleeping in a bunk bed, but being an only child he never got the chance. And he wasn’t making it up about the plane having a laboratory and an office, and a parking space for their boss’s red sports car, and a dungeon for if they needed to lock someone up. Just imagine what Mum would do with one of those. Madame Szyszko-Bohusz would have been in there for a start, and Mr Leeman, if he hadn’t been dead, and probably a lot of other passengers as well. She could put Dad in it, next time he tried to buy GERTI.

Arthur hadn’t expected he’d get to see round the Bus, but FitzSimmons said they had to make it up to him for being rude about GERTI. They said they were sorry and they’d had too much to drink, and obviously GERTI could fly, even if she didn’t look like it. And then they said would he like a tour of the Bus and a game of strip poker.

The Bus was amazing, just like the TARDIS, except that it was really big on the outside as well. And strip poker was brilliant, nearly as much fun as apple tossing. Arthur turned out to be seriously rubbish at it, though, because of all the maths and getting the cards mixed up. He was down to one sock and his underpants when Mum came and dragged him out of the game, so it was just as well the heating was working on the Bus. Between what she’d said to him and what the man called Coulson with the sports car had said to FitzSimmons, it had got quite noisy in there for a while – Coulson was a lot fiercer than he looked – and by the time the row was over the fog had lifted and they had to go.

Arthur really, really liked Fitton airport, because it was home, and home was brilliant, obviously. But if he ever had to live anywhere else, Zurich would be amazing. Maybe next time – if there was a next time – he could teach FitzSimmons to play Yellow Car.


The "wrong end of a forest" line is slightly misquoted from S1 Ep06 Fitton.

Also posted at http://fengirl88.dreamwidth.org/149641.html with comment count unavailable comments.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 11th, 2014 11:36 am (UTC)
Omg yesssssss! Wow. Yes. Love it. Looooove it. Delighted by it.
May. 11th, 2014 01:41 pm (UTC)

thank you very much - I'm glad you like it! it was fun to write. *grins*
May. 11th, 2014 02:41 pm (UTC)
May. 11th, 2014 03:06 pm (UTC)
icon love indeed: sostrangechild made a batch of Cabin Pressure icons and I asked for this one!
May. 11th, 2014 03:13 pm (UTC)
OMG! Thank you for directing me there! Xx
May. 11th, 2014 03:14 pm (UTC)
you're welcome!
May. 11th, 2014 03:39 pm (UTC)
This is so much perfection! I adore it. You have Arthur spot on and I just love everything about it.
May. 11th, 2014 04:48 pm (UTC)
thank you so much! *beams* and thank you for your encouragement of the original plotbunny...
May. 11th, 2014 05:01 pm (UTC)
I feel like that was very self-interested encouragement, jsyk.

And what were Martin and Douglas up to while this happened? I HAVE TO ASK >.>
May. 11th, 2014 05:33 pm (UTC)
a meeting between Arthur and FitzSimmons was one of those things that clearly HAD to happen...

Martin and Douglas remain curiously reticent about what they were up to, though I am sure there are many theories. *grins*
May. 11th, 2014 05:11 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful! Brilliant, in fact! A whole forest full of wrong ends, lol!
May. 11th, 2014 05:29 pm (UTC)
thank you! I'm very glad you liked it - the forest is shamelessly stolen from Fitton, and I've now added a note to that effect...

Edited at 2014-05-11 05:41 pm (UTC)
May. 11th, 2014 08:48 pm (UTC)
Awww, this is so great. Your Arthur voice is perfect.
May. 11th, 2014 11:10 pm (UTC)

thank you very much - that's a lovely comment to get!
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )


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