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fic: Reasonable Force

S3-trailer-inspired 221b nonsense written as a belated birthday gift for warriorbot. Spoilers for the S3 trailer, if there is anyone left in the world who still hasn't seen that...



“Serves you right, you prat,” Lestrade says, glaring at the familiar dark-haired figure lying in a heap at the top of 221b's stairs. “Honestly, what did you expect?”

Wasting his breath, obviously. Sherlock wouldn't listen even if he was conscious. Never does. Never did.

Just as well the stupid fucker hadn't tried sneaking up on Watson like that: he'd be lucky to escape with his life. Again. Watson will probably try to throttle him as it is, when he finds out Sherlock's back from the dead.

Lestrade's quite tempted to have a go himself, but he doesn't fancy doing a stretch for GBH. The last two years have been tough enough without that.

“Sorry I screamed, dear,” Mrs Hudson says. “But really, what was I supposed to think, a strange man lurking in the shadows like that?”

Too bloody right, Lestrade thinks.

“Are you sure you won't have a brandy? Did me the world of good.”

Lestrade shakes his head; he wants to have his wits about him when Sherlock finally comes round.

Meanwhile, he pulls out his phone and takes a snapshot. Probably nothing ever will cure Sherlock of being theatrical, but if anything could it's this: the world's only consulting detective, mistaken for a burglar and knocked out cold by his ex-landlady with a well-aimed saucepan to the bonce.




Also posted at http://fengirl88.dreamwidth.org/139449.html with comment count unavailable comments.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
archea2
Dec. 13th, 2013 10:11 pm (UTC)
Ha, this!

(While I believe Mrs H is actually playing a part directed by Sherlock rather than whacking him one, he's saucy enough to deserve that fate.)
fengirl88
Dec. 13th, 2013 10:13 pm (UTC)
thank you! *beams*

I like your idea that she's playing a part (as she was in A Scandal in Belgravia, of course).
grassle
Dec. 14th, 2013 02:53 pm (UTC)
Wonderful! I love the way Sherlock gets decked by the whole cast in various comeback-kid fics!

And best use of 'bonce' since Terence Stamp's Belgravia-Mexican cowboy Azul threatened to ventilate someone's bonce in that mad 60s western. (I may be misremembering or even never have understood the film.)

(I wondered if Mrs H was screaming at the 'bloodied-head wearing identical clothes to the corpse' Sherlock after she and Mrs Turner had had a seance to bring him back.)
fengirl88
Dec. 14th, 2013 07:07 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! I'm so pleased you liked it - and yes, I'm enjoying the let's-deck-Sherlock strain in fic...

also very pleased you approved of this use of 'bonce'. *bows* I am not sure if I know that film!

that would be quite some séance...
fanbot
Dec. 14th, 2013 03:20 pm (UTC)
Brilliant!
fengirl88
Dec. 14th, 2013 07:04 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! *beams*
marysutherland
Dec. 14th, 2013 08:30 pm (UTC)
That was great fun - glad to see Mrs Hudson getting her own back on Sherlock for once. And I loved the simple truth of "Sherlock wouldn't listen even if he was conscious." Sums him up nicely!
fengirl88
Dec. 14th, 2013 08:50 pm (UTC)
thank you - I'm pleased you enjoyed it, and that line in particular! Mrs Hudson getting her own back on Sherlock seems to be popular... *grins*
frozen_delight
Dec. 15th, 2013 06:18 pm (UTC)
Oh this is excellent! I laughed so hard.

Mrs Hudson is brilliant. I really think she has every reason to hit Sherlock with that frying pan - but the fact that she mistakes him for a burglar makes it all the funnier.

And I simply love that Lestrade's first encounter with the resurrected consulting detective is when the latter's knocked out cold, allowing Lestrade to collect a little more blackmail material for their future cooperation. :)
fengirl88
Dec. 15th, 2013 08:34 pm (UTC)
thank you very much - I'm glad you enjoyed this, and those things in particular! *beams* I had a lot of fun writing it...
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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