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fic: Self-Control


Title: Self-Control
Author: fengirl88
Fandom
: X-Men First Class
Pairing: Erik/Charles
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: BDSM, Orgasm delay/denial, PWP
Wordcount: ~2800
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.
Summary: Charles has a will of iron. Erik's fine with that.
A/N: fill for the [community profile] kink_bingo square "obedience".
This fic is for ginbitch, who lured me to see the film in the first place. My thanks to her and kate_lear for betaing the results, and to thimpressionist for cheering me on.


Self-Control


Charles is good at making people do things. He doesn't have to use his powers every time. It's not even coercion, necessarily. He just fixes you with those deep blue eyes, that sad sincere innocent look, and you fall right into the trap.

Erik knows this from observation. At least he thinks it's only that. He thinks he chose to stay for his own reasons, not because Charles told him he should. Made him feel how alone he'd been, something he'd never minded since childhood.

It's hardly surprising Charles expects to get his own way, Erik thinks. Growing up in a fucking mansion like this, it would be more surprising if Charles hadn't developed the habit of command. How easily he steps into his role as instructor, training and refining the raw power the others don't yet know how to handle. The only one who's under no restraint is Charles himself. As Erik doesn't hesitate to point out to him, first chance he gets.

They're on the terrace steps, playing chess, and Charles has just avoided checkmate for the third time that afternoon.

“You're cheating, aren't you?” Erik says. “Reading my mind.”

Charles looks shocked. “I wouldn't! I would never – you know I wouldn't, not for this – ”

Erik knows that's true, but there's no room in his mind for fairness right now.

“There’s nothing to stop you, is there? You school the rest of us but nobody controls you.”

Impossible not to imagine how that power could be abused in other ways than cheating at chess. Even if Charles doesn't cheat.

“I control myself,” Charles says, and his eyes flash cold and deep like the shock of the ocean that night.

“When it suits you, sure,” Erik says. “What about under pressure?”

“I don't know,” Charles says coolly. “What sort of pressure do you mean?”

Not Shaw's kind, Erik thinks. The image of the room with the coin on the desk flares in his mind.

Charles doesn't react to the mention of Shaw's name – which suggests he's deliberately staying out of Erik's head.

Erik knows the only other person Charles chooses not to read is Raven. He doesn't think of himself and Charles as close, certainly not in the way Charles and Raven are. If Charles is holding back, though, it must mean something. Something more than the respect he knows there is between them.

He remembers that struggle in the water, Charles's arm around his throat, the feeling of Charles in his head. He's dreamt about that, often, since it happened. He thinks about what's behind that unreadable blue stare, and he wonders.

“I'll bet you I can find your limits,” he says. “Make you use your powers on me.”

Charles swallows. His eyes look wider, darker.

Fear, Erik thinks, though he's not sure exactly who or what Charles is afraid of at this moment. But there is another emotion, too. He hopes he's guessed right about what it is.

“A battle of wills, then?” Charles says.

“Yes,” Erik says. “A test of strength, but not physical strength.”

“How do you know I won't cheat if I lose, bend your mind to make you think I won?” Charles asks.

“I'll have to trust you, won't I?” Erik says ironically.

“Doesn't that rather defeat the object of the exercise?” Charles says.

There's a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Erik wants to wipe that smile off his face, lick it away, bite those red lips till Charles is breathless and shaking, till they both are.

“We'll see,” Erik says. “Come indoors, Professor, we can't do this experiment with an audience.”

He gestures to where Hank and Banshee are playing catch on the lawn.

“My room, I think,” Erik says. “We're less likely to be disturbed.”



Charles is breathing unevenly in a way that has nothing to do with the long flight of stairs up to the bedroom, and there's a betraying flush across his cheekbones.

You want to know what’s in my mind, don’t you, but you won't let yourself look. You think you've guessed, but you're not sure, and if you've guessed wrong...

If Charles has guessed wrong, it's not as if Erik's about to turn him over to the police. Erik's taking a risk himself, if it comes to that; he's not the mindreader around here. But he does think he recognizes some of the signs. He wonders how many of them he's exhibiting himself.

He locks the bedroom door from the inside, turning the key without touching it. Showing off.

“Cheat!” Charles exclaims.

“I didn't say anything about not using my powers,” Erik says.

Charles looks as if he's not sure whether to stand his ground or beat a retreat.

Erik grins. “Get on the bed,” he says.

Charles stares at him, not moving.

“Go on,” Erik says. “Or have you lost your stomach for the battle already?”

Charles sits on the bed, still staring at Erik. He leans down to take his shoes and socks off – that's right, Charles, mustn't get the counterpane dirty, must we? – then swings his legs up. He sits back against the pillows and folds his arms, waiting.

“Unbutton your shirt,” Erik says.

Charles bites his lip. Doesn't say anything. He starts unbuttoning, fumbling, all his confidence seemingly gone.

Oh, you want this, don't you? Look at you all sweaty-palmed and shaky.

“Drop it on the floor,” Erik says aloud.

Charles glares – that's not what he does with his clothes, of course it isn't – but he obeys.

“Now lie down,” Erik says. “Hands above your head.”

Charles does as he's told. He looks vulnerable, exposed.

I want to mark you all over, do you know that?

Erik's mind is a riot of kissing and biting, red blotches standing out against white flesh. His mouth waters and he swallows.

Charles raises an eyebrow.

“Spread your legs,” Erik says roughly. “Wider than that. Yes.”

He's learned not to show his feelings, but this clever soft pampered impossible man makes his pulse race. His heart's going so loud he wonders if Charles can hear it.

“Drop your left hand to your waist,” Erik says. “Now undo your trousers. Slowly. That's it.”

See how my eyes follow the curve of your erection – yes, you like me watching you, don't you? What do you want first, my hands or my mouth? What do you think I'll let you have?

He scans Charles's face for any sign that he's heard: nothing.

“Now take them off. No, just your left hand.”

Charles wriggles and tugs, pushing his trousers down clumsily over his erection. The pull of the fabric drags at his white cotton undershorts.

“Leave those on,” Erik says. “They don't come off till I tell you.”

Charles makes a soft little noise in the back of his throat. Erik wants to swallow that noise, make him make more, open his own mouth to devour all the sounds that come from Charles's.

“Both hands above your head again. Side by side, palms facing up. That's right.”

“Is there a point to this?” Charles asks.

He almost sounds calm, but underneath it there's a layer of tension, cigarette-paper thin. And under that –

Erik can't hear Charles's thoughts but he can see them. He focuses his gaze on each traitorous detail – a vibration of desire under your skin. A single bead of sweat on your forehead. White cotton pulled tight where your cock pushes and strains at it.

“The point is that you do what I tell you. For now.”

He looks down at Charles, spread out on the bed. His own cock is achingly hard, and it's a struggle not to hurl himself on Charles and thrust against him till he comes. But he knows he can do better than that.

He moves to the bed and kneels over Charles, lowering his face till their mouths are almost touching. Charles's breath is warm, his lips slightly parted. Erik pulls back, enjoying the little unh of frustration that Charles gives.

“Not yet,” he says, as Charles's hips jerk upwards.

Your eyes are so dark now, pupils so wide. I could do whatever I liked to you and you wouldn't stop me, would you? But I want more from you than that.

He sits back on his haunches, knees either side of Charles's legs. He stretches out his hands towards the head of the cast-iron bedframe, and Charles gasps.

I know what you're thinking, because I'm thinking it too. Remembering.

The image of a woman made of diamond, imprisoned by the warped struts of the bedframe, metal ropes snaking tight and inexorable around her wrists, her throat.

Erik lets the thought, the memory, hang in the air between them. He can feel the tension of it vibrating in the metal of the frame.

“You're wondering if I'm going to do that to you,” he says.

“Yes,” Charles says hoarsely.

“Keep wondering,” Erik says.

He moves his hands down over Charles's arms and chest, not quite touching, but close enough that he knows Charles can feel the heat coming from him.

Charles shifts uneasily, digging his heels into the mattress.

“Lie still,” Erik says. “Don't move.”

He knows instinctively that physical bondage would be easier, would let Charles struggle as much as he wants to. Like this, he has to hold himself still, become his own restraints. Resist the temptation to grip Erik's wrists and force his hands to touch bare flesh.

There's nothing to stop him from forcing Erik with his mind in any case. Nothing but his own boast: I control myself. Demonstrating his superiority.

Erik leans in close again and flicks his tongue against Charles's lips. Charles moans and clenches his hands. Erik can feel the strain of his resistance, his longing to pull Erik into a kiss. Well, let him have a taste of it, why not?

Charles's mouth is as soft as it looks, yielding and delicious. His self-imposed passivity is a fresh challenge. Erik sucks at his lower lip and pushes his tongue a little way into Charles's mouth, licking and teasing, withdrawing as soon as Charles starts to respond and arch up against him. Three or four repetitions of this and Charles is panting and squirming.

“Be still,” Erik says again, and Charles obeys with a groan.

Erik runs his tongue down Charles's body from throat to navel, and lower, till his mouth is almost level with Charles's cock. There's a damp patch already spreading where Charles's excitement has him leaking into his undershorts. Erik puts his mouth over it, not quite touching, and breathes, warm and deliberate and slow.

“Oh God,” Charles says, and it's all Erik can do not to take him in his mouth and finish him right away.

Wait, he tells himself, and grins wryly as he recognizes it's become a test for him as well as Charles. He doesn't know if Charles can hear him, but the words are so clear in his head he might as well be shouting.

I want you so much. Want you to make you cry out and lose control. Want to make you come in my mouth, in my hands, on my thighs. Want to come inside you and feel you clenching around me. Want to lose myself in you, make you forget everything but wanting me. Desperate for me, beside yourself.

Charles groans as Erik's fingers trace the outline of his erection, slide down to fondle his balls, brush teasingly against his thighs and away again.

Any minute now, Erik thinks, running a fingertip under Charles's waistband and pulling the undershorts down just below the head of Charles's cock. He brushes his thumb across the slit and Charles gives a sharp cry.

The sound of Raven's voice on the stairs, calling out to Charles, makes them both freeze.

Charles bites his lip and struggles to control his breathing. It must be even worse than trying to keep quiet normally, Erik thinks – Charles is fighting on two fronts. He looks gloriously wrecked, wild-eyed and flushed, quivering all over.

Raven calls Charles's name again. It sounds as if she’s just outside the door.

Erik strokes his forefinger across the wet tip of Charles's cock, and raises his finger to his lips as if signalling for silence. He licks his finger, tasting Charles's precome on it. Grins at Charles's agonized expression. Lowers his mouth till his lips are almost touching Charles's cock.

Don't!” says Charles, through gritted teeth. His voice is low and pleading.

“Take them off,” Erik says, brushing his fingers across the straining fabric again.

Charles shudders and his eyelids flutter closed for a moment.

Now,” Erik says.

Charles pushes the undershorts down and kicks them off.

“Good,” Erik says softly.

Charles’s eyes are fixed on him, silently pleading for mercy.

“Ready to give in?” Erik asks. “You know what you have to do if you want me to stop.”

Charles shakes his head. His lips are so red where he’s been biting them. He looks, if possible, even more naked because Erik’s still fully clothed. His cock is curved, heavy and flushed dark with blood. Erik bends his head to it again.

He licks Charles quickly, teasingly, swirling and flicking his tongue against the frenulum. Charles's whole body convulses with a barely suppressed cry. Erik closes his lips around the head of Charles's cock and sucks, gently at first, then taking him in deeper.

Raven calls out again, her voice more distant as she moves away down the corridor. Erik releases Charles's cock with a parting lick, laughing at his moan of frustration.

“Fuck,” Charles says. “Erik, please.”

Erik doesn't know which he likes more, the unexpected curse or the strain in Charles's voice. Hard to choose.

He wraps his hand around Charles's erection, squeezing, stroking, pulling till he can feel Charles is close to the edge, then slackens his grip, denying Charles the pressure he craves. He does it again and again till Charles is frantically thrashing against the mattress and biting his own fist to keep from crying out.

“I told you to lie still,” Erik rebukes him.

“I can't,” Charles says, desperate. “Erik–”

“What?”

“You know what,” Charles groans.

Erik grins evilly and shakes his head. “You're not getting through,” he says. “Try again.”

He gives a twist of his fingers and Charles cries out, a choked cry that goes right to Erik's cock. He forces himself to ignore it, to watch dispassionately as Charles writhes under his tormenting caresses.

“Erik, for God's sake!” Charles begs.

Make me,” Erik says. “Or you're not going to get it.”

He wants this; wants to feel Charles flooding his mind with need and desire. Wants Charles inside his head again, that shock of intimacy like nothing he’d ever felt before.

He's never wanted anyone to breach the bounds of his mind or his body, till now.

He goes on stroking, smooth and strong, till Charles is shuddering on the verge of orgasm again, eyes unfocused and lost. Erik stills his hand and Charles whimpers.

“Not much longer now, I think,” Erik says, sounding more cool and detached than he feels.

Charles is swearing steadily; Erik puts his hand over his mouth and says “Shh.”

Speak to me with your mind, Charles. You know it's the only way.

Charles's lips are hot against Erik's hand.

“Lick,” Erik says.

Charles moans in protest.

“Do as you're told,” Erik says. “If you want to come at all, that is.”

Charles licks, pushing his tongue against Erik's palm as if he could seduce him into changing his mind. Erik can feel the heaviness of his own arousal; he's still aching for Charles, has been all along. He twists his hand around Charles's cock, sliding up and down.

The mental impact of Charles's control snapping almost knocks him sideways.

Erik -  fuck -  need to -  need you to -  make me come -  do it -  fuck - NOW

Finally, Erik thinks, giddy with triumph.

He grasps Charles's cock tighter, sure firm strokes pulling him into an orgasm that rings like a shout through Erik's mind.

Charles's sobbing breaths gradually quieten as the aftershocks die away. He looks at Erik as if he can't quite believe what just happened.

“You won your bet,” he says at last, a little shakily. “Pity we never agreed what the stakes were.”

“So what do I get for proving you wrong?” Erik asks, trying to sound nonchalant though his pulse is racing. He's harder than he's ever been in his life.

Charles gives a sudden grin of pure delight that makes Erik catch his breath. “Ah well,” he says, “that's for me to know and you to find out.”

“Really?”

Really,” Charles says.

“And how do I do that?” Erik asks.

Charles's eyes are sparkling with mischief. “On your back,” he says. “Naked. Starting now.”


Also posted at http://fengirl88.dreamwidth.org/52689.html with comments.

Comments

( 49 comments — Leave a comment )
telperion_15
Aug. 13th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC)
You do not even want to know how many of my buttons this pushed!
fengirl88
Aug. 13th, 2011 10:05 pm (UTC)
don't I? ok, you know best. *grins*

thank you very much for letting me know it did!
thimpressionist
Aug. 13th, 2011 10:18 pm (UTC)
gnnn. I'll just... be in my bunk *fans self*
fengirl88
Aug. 13th, 2011 11:06 pm (UTC)
*waves at you in your bunk*

thank you very much! and thank you for your cheerleading during the writing of it!
kate_lear
Aug. 13th, 2011 10:37 pm (UTC)
*happy sigh* I do love this so much. Erik is so delightful when he's pushing Charles off-balance like this!
kate_lear
Aug. 13th, 2011 10:38 pm (UTC)
Also...
*points at icon* There is no link whatsoever between PWP and a cup of tea. I just need to find some X-Men icons, since it appears that I am going to start reading this fandom after all...
fengirl88
Aug. 13th, 2011 11:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Also...
rhyming slang perhaps?

megan_moonlight has some lovely icons for this fandom, as always.
fengirl88
Aug. 13th, 2011 11:04 pm (UTC)
thank you - I'm so glad you do! I enjoyed writing this...

now I just need to work out what happens next!
cylin
Sep. 26th, 2011 06:50 pm (UTC)
Oh heck yeah! *cheers*
Please, please, pleasepleaseplease, PLEASE!
fengirl88
Sep. 26th, 2011 08:40 pm (UTC)
thank you - it turned out to be more difficult than I thought it would be to work out what happens after this one, and I still haven't managed it.

I am working on another Erik/Charles fic at the moment, and haven't completely given up hope of a sequel to this at some point...
ginbitch
Aug. 13th, 2011 10:55 pm (UTC)
For me??

*hugs fic* *glomps you*

This is smoking! One of the hottest things I have read. Your characterisation is absolutely pitch perfect. Dear God woman! Words can't even describe. And details like the mention of the illegality of what they are doing hit my cast iron kink of historical detail! Perfect! Memming hard...
fengirl88
Aug. 13th, 2011 11:03 pm (UTC)
*beams* thank you so much!

and of course it's for you! you were the one who got me to see the film and hence inspired me to write the thing, not to mention betaing it.

*glomps you back*
ginbitch
Aug. 13th, 2011 11:32 pm (UTC)
*beams*

Betaing for you is pure joy! And _of course_ I took you to see it - you don't think I would try out a shiny new fandom without you? Dragging you and Kate over was my first thought!

This fic fulfills my every expectation - and then some! Bravo, honey, bravo!
fengirl88
Aug. 14th, 2011 12:01 am (UTC)
*glows happily*

looking forward to seeing your fic soon...

thank you so much!
sabrinaphynn
Aug. 13th, 2011 11:27 pm (UTC)
Knickers- twisted. Going out for smoke now. Tis hot in here.
( not even my fandom but you wrote it, so... )
:)
fengirl88
Aug. 13th, 2011 11:57 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! *grins*

I'm very pleased you read it even though it's not your fandom - I hadn't seen the film myself until 10 days ago but got the plotbunny for this pretty much immediately afterwards...
leathlin
Aug. 14th, 2011 12:31 am (UTC)
oh my god,I'm not sure if I will be able to sleep without those scenes playing in my mind. All kinds of hot<3
fengirl88
Aug. 14th, 2011 12:39 am (UTC)
thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing it.
(Deleted comment)
fengirl88
Aug. 14th, 2011 07:18 am (UTC)
thank you very much - glad you liked it! *beams*
nagasasu
Aug. 14th, 2011 05:16 am (UTC)
This is marvelous! :D I think it's interesting to have this from Erik's POV as well as having his thoughts (the italicized ones in particular) to contrast with his bet with Charles.

And of course, it's hot, just like everyone else has said. ;)
fengirl88
Aug. 14th, 2011 07:20 am (UTC)
thank you very much - it seemed right that this should be from Erik's POV, so I'm glad you thought it worked.
(Deleted comment)
fengirl88
Aug. 14th, 2011 07:30 am (UTC)
thank you very much - I'm glad you enjoyed it! it followed from thinking about the training sequence, and how Charles is the only one who doesn't seem to need to control his powers.
(Deleted comment)
fengirl88
Aug. 15th, 2011 09:36 am (UTC)
thank you so much! I've only just got into XMFC after ginbitch took me and kate_lear to see the film, but I started writing this on the way home, and am writing another kinkbingo fic with the two of them at the moment.

and now I am reading your fic!

*squees happily*
papercutperfect
Aug. 14th, 2011 02:17 pm (UTC)
UNF! That was delicious and so beautifully written!
fengirl88
Aug. 15th, 2011 09:39 am (UTC)
thank you very much - I'm glad you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing it.
ilovetakahana
Aug. 14th, 2011 05:05 pm (UTC)
hnnnnng. oh my goodness. that was just amazing. WOOOOW. So hot and gorgeous and so many buttons being pushed! You are amazing!
fengirl88
Aug. 15th, 2011 09:40 am (UTC)
thank you so much - very pleased that it worked for you! *beams*
kaitlia777
Aug. 14th, 2011 05:43 pm (UTC)
Oh my, that was scorchingly hot! Well done!
fengirl88
Aug. 15th, 2011 09:40 am (UTC)
thank you very much - I'm glad you enjoyed it!
warriorbot
Aug. 15th, 2011 10:47 am (UTC)
*swallows hard*

Well, that was a beautiful one to lose my X-Men cherry to...

*lights cigarette* *sighs*
fengirl88
Aug. 15th, 2011 11:07 am (UTC)
*beams*

thank you very much! glad you enjoyed it.

lovely to see the film with you yesterday and to see you over here.

*bounces excitedly*
ginbitch
Aug. 16th, 2011 03:38 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA!

So glad we're luring you over! I have been plotting to get you on board since seeing the film...

<3 <3 <3
greenhoodloxley
Aug. 19th, 2011 12:07 am (UTC)
Absolutely beautiful!
fengirl88
Aug. 19th, 2011 12:09 am (UTC)
thank you very much! I'm really enjoying writing in this fandom at the moment.
cylin
Aug. 20th, 2011 10:36 am (UTC)
Oh my God! So hot. *has no words*
Guh....
Hopefully I can come up with a better comment later, but I'm afraid you fried my synaspes...

Guh, guh, guh.
fengirl88
Aug. 20th, 2011 10:46 am (UTC)
thank you very much - I'm so pleased you enjoyed it!
cylin
Aug. 20th, 2011 12:58 pm (UTC)
GUH!
cylin
Sep. 26th, 2011 07:03 pm (UTC)
Finally a (more) coherent comment....
Ok, I think I'm finally ready to comment properly.
I absolutely loved how Erik unbalanced Charles with his "you are cheating at chess" comment. That was so perfectly in character.
Also the issue about one of them calling the police was a really nice historical touch. Loved it!
Then the sex.... Oh my God, still hot and er, HOT! Also, I really have to salute you that you actually managed to write the power dynamic of a BDSM story really well (in my opinion). They are both equal partners in this and that makes the supposed submission of Charles all the more meaningful, because he wants to be there and have Erik do to him what he does.
There is a lot really clichéed stuff out there in fandom, but you managed to write it really realistically and that made it all the more powerful and hot.

And I'd really like to bribe you into writing a sequel for shamelessly selfish reasons. I really enjoy your writing style, characterisations and the situations you put the characters in are creative and everything is so well written. *happy sigh*
fengirl88
Sep. 26th, 2011 09:00 pm (UTC)
Re: Finally a (more) coherent comment....
this is a lovely comment to get - thank you very much indeed! *glows*

I'm really glad you thought the dynamic worked - I wanted it to be plausible for the two of them, as well as trying to think about what would be hot! one of the things I haven't managed to work out yet is what might change between Erik and Charles as a result of what's happened here - I think that's part of the reason I haven't written a sequel to this fic.
Re: Finally a (more) coherent comment.... - cylin - Sep. 27th, 2011 10:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Finally a (more) coherent comment.... - fengirl88 - Sep. 27th, 2011 11:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
soldierly
Aug. 21st, 2011 05:19 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. This is awesome. *_*
fengirl88
Aug. 21st, 2011 05:52 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I couldn't resist writing about these two and am having a lot of fun doing it.
blind_author
Aug. 30th, 2011 09:06 am (UTC)
I love fics that explore what telepathy would be like during sex, and this does so brilliantly!

And is also very, very hot...
fengirl88
Aug. 30th, 2011 10:20 am (UTC)
thank you so much - I got very excited about the idea of this fic (which hit me before I'd even left the cinema), so I'm very glad you thought it worked!
alernun
Sep. 5th, 2011 04:11 am (UTC)
Oh yeah...this is totally canon, I've decided hahaha. I think my favorite part, is the idea that this is their first sexual encounter...Erik making it a challenge and ordering Charles around. Fits. Sooooo hot eeep well done.
fengirl88
Sep. 5th, 2011 01:15 pm (UTC)
*grins* thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was surprised to get the idea for it, but it seemed quite appropriate for the two of them.
stardust_made
Nov. 11th, 2011 01:33 pm (UTC)
I finally watched the film and headed for your LJ.
JFC. UNF. UNF. HNG.

*clears throat* This was very good.
fengirl88
Nov. 12th, 2011 01:44 am (UTC)
*offers you a glass of water*

thank you very much! I'm really pleased you've been enjoying the XMFC fics - they are such fun to write. I was attacked by the plotbunny for this one before I'd even got out of the cinema - I'm so glad ginbitch persuaded me to go and see the film.

Edited at 2011-11-12 01:44 am (UTC)
( 49 comments — Leave a comment )

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