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fic: Like The Back Of Your Hand

Title: Like The Back Of Your Hand
Author: fengirl88
Fandom: BBC Sherlock
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Wordcount: ~1600
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: sexual content, pwp.
Summary: There's a first time for everything. 
Disclaimer: They're still not mine.
Beta: blooms84, aided and abetted by ginbitch.

A/N:
This story is for blooms84, who made sure it ended properly, and for ginbitch, whose encouragement was invaluable as always.

 



Like The Back Of Your Hand

He's not sure he can do this at all. John keeps saying they don't have to, it's fine, it's all fine, but Sherlock's pretty sure he's just saying that. And anyway he wants to, or he thinks he wants to. It ought to be all right with John. John may go around the place looking a bit dazed and confused sometimes but he seems to know about this sort of thing. And Sherlock's pretty sure John won't laugh at him or be contemptuous if he gets it wrong, as he almost certainly will. Nobody gets it right the first time. Not even Sherlock Holmes.

 

Anyway, here they are, sitting awkwardly side by side on the sofa at 221b Baker Street, not sure where to start. Even after all these weeks of living together, well, sharing a flat, there are still so many unknown things about John. He wants to know them but he's not sure he's ever going to get the chance. Certainly isn't going to get it if neither of them makes a move soon, because Sherlock's really going to panic and run away, the way he almost has the last few times they've talked about doing this. He's already getting distracted again, his mind whizzing off into unrelated areas of speculation.

 

Why do people say that?” he asks, as if continuing a discussion.

 

Say what?” John asks, sounding thrown.

 

That they know something like the back of their hand.”

 

Don't know,” John says. “Why do you ask?”

 

I was thinking of all the things I don't know about you,” Sherlock says.

 

Plenty of time to find out, with any luck,” John says.

 

His voice is calm but his left hand's shaking a bit. Sherlock looks at it. John looks at Sherlock looking, and grins.

 

You're getting to know that quite well, aren't you?” he says. “Let's see yours.”

 

He takes Sherlock's left hand in his right one, and gently traces lines on the back of it. Sherlock shifts a bit, nervously. John's fingers are steady now, careful and slow. Nobody's ever touched Sherlock there, not in this slow deliberate way. It feels strange. Not unpleasant, but odd.

 

John's saying something about the hand, about how people often don't really think about the sensitivity of hands as parts of the body to be touched, rather than doing the touching. But he can't really take it in, because John's sliding his finger into the gaps between Sherlock's fingers, stroking the softer skin in between, then moving on to the next gap and doing it again. Something seems to be happening to Sherlock's breathing.

 

John brings Sherlock's hand up to his lips, pushes his tongue into the gaps between Sherlock's fingers where his finger was exploring before. Sherlock makes a noise which surprises them both.

 

Mm,” John says thoughtfully, turning Sherlock's hand over. The point of his tongue draws a teasing circle on Sherlock's palm. He says something about the number of nerve endings in the palm of the hand, but his mouth is against Sherlock's palm and his tongue licks him in between the words and Sherlock is starting to feel dizzy. John licks the inside of Sherlock's wrist, and Sherlock moans.

 

Mmm,” John says again, not sounding thoughtful this time. His tongue traces a slow line from Sherlock's wrist up through his palm and along the length of his middle finger. Then along the ring finger, little finger, back across to the index finger, and a quick lick of Sherlock's thumb which he takes into his mouth, sucking slightly.

 

I want to lie down,” Sherlock says urgently, because this is making him start to shake.

 

So lie down,” John says, sounding unexpectedly shaky himself.

 

With you,” Sherlock says, pulling John down on top of him.

 

Yes,” John says fiercely.

 

John's lying full length on him, heavy, wonderful, strange. “Do you want me to kiss you?” he asks unsteadily.

 

Yes,” Sherlock breathes.

 

He doesn't really know how to do this but apparently it doesn't matter. John's mouth feels tentative, shy, then not shy at all. Sherlock kisses him back, clumsily, eagerly, desperate to get more of him, get all of him. Wraps his arms and legs around John and squeezes, hard.

 

Oof,” John says. “Whoa. Not so tight, Sherlock.”

 

You don't want this!” Sherlock says, panicking and starting to struggle under him.

 

John holds him still and pushes his hips against Sherlock's, grinding into him. There's the unmistakable feeling of John's erection against Sherlock's own.

 

No, I want this,” John says, “God, yes, I just – I can't really breathe if you grip me that hard. And I'm thinking that might be a bit of a drawback.”

 

Too much talking,” Sherlock complains, pulling John down into another desperate kiss.

 

John's trying to get his hands in between them, but he can't manage it. So he pulls back a bit and starts unbuttoning Sherlock's shirt, both hands shaking now, surprising, but Sherlock can't think about that because John leans in to kiss the base of his throat.

 

Sherlock's startled to hear himself make that whimpering sound, didn't know he could. John's kissing his neck and his collarbone and his sternum but it's too slow and Sherlock's starting to panic again, any minute now he's going to get distracted and unable to focus on what's happening. John sits back and fumbles with Sherlock's shoelaces, taking off his shoes, socks. The cold air's distracting against Sherlock's skin where his shirt's already half off, but then John runs one finger along his bare sole, almost tickling, and the touch makes him jolt with pleasure. He sees John making a mental note to come back to that one later, or possibly some other time, but right now the rest of Sherlock's clothes are definitely coming off. In a very short time he's naked on the sofa while John still has all his clothes on, which is quite strange but also exciting.

 

You are so beautiful,” John says, as if he can't quite believe it. Sherlock knows this isn't true – he can see what's in the mirror as well as the next person and he looks like an alien. But the taut note of desire in John's voice is so good he doesn't have time to worry that John's talking nonsense.

 

John's hands on his body are making Sherlock gasp for breath now. His skin feels more sensitive than he's ever known it, everything's tingling and shivery. John's touching him all over, all but the place Sherlock most wants him to, and he strains up towards John, trying to rub himself against him.

 

John laughs, a sound so full of delight that it doesn't feel at all like being laughed at.

 

Oh, you want this,” John says, as if that fact is the most amazing thing anyone's ever discovered.

 

Yes,” Sherlock says, and that's all, because he can't say anything else.

 

John's hand slides between Sherlock's thighs, moves down to his knees and then back up again. He starts tracing a sort of figure-of-eight pattern along Sherlock's inner thighs and up across his stomach, but still doesn't touch Sherlock's cock. Sherlock's hips buck frantically, surging up as he tries to push his erection against John's hand.

 

Not yet,” John says teasingly, sitting back and pulling his hand away. “You've got to wait a bit longer.”

 

Sherlock moans.

 

Made me wait long enough,” John says, letting the tips of his fingers just graze the head of Sherlock's cock.

 

Sherlock gasps, then gives a little cry of frustration as John's hand moves away and begins tracing that maddening pattern along his thighs again. John seems to be enjoying himself, judging by the expression on his face.

 

Please,” Sherlock says. “I want you to touch me.”

 

Thought I was,” John says wickedly. “You might need to be more specific in your instructions.”

 

Please touch my cock,” Sherlock says.

 

Good,” John says. “Like this?”

 

He brushes his fingers lightly along Sherlock's erection. Sherlock moans again.

 

No?” John says. “Tell me what to do.”

 

Sherlock is beside himself now with wanting. “Your hand on my cock,” he says, “hard. Tight. Squeezing me – oh, yes, like that, oh god like that, John, please, yes, that's –”

 

John's hand is on him and it feels incredible, everything seems to be gathering and pushing and clenching and, and, and –

 

Ah!” The orgasm breaks over him, wave after wave of it. He grabs John's shoulders, pulls him down and clings on to him as if he's the only thing that can save him from drowning, crying out again and again.

 

John holds him, kisses his hair and his eyes and his cheekbones and the point of his chin and the curve of his shoulder. Murmurs things they'll probably both be embarrassed about later but which just now feel like the best things anyone has ever said in the history of the world.

 

Sherlock thinks of the things he's getting to know about John. John's gentleness, his strength, the way he can make Sherlock do things he's never done before but still make him feel safe. The unexpected moments when his hands shake. The unexpected moments when they don't. Lots more to find out still. And as John says, with luck there'll be plenty of time to do that.

 

He turns around in John's arms so they're lying spooned together, presses his lips against the back of John's hand.

 

Comments

( 84 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Deleted comment)
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:14 am (UTC)
right - well I'm certainly looking forward to that! glad to have encouraged you on your way...

I think a few people around here have a hand kink, don't you?

*ahem*
(no subject) - anonymiss731 - Nov. 8th, 2010 05:12 am (UTC) - Expand
dominique012
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:07 am (UTC)
Oh, lovely. Sexy and sweet, they are so good together. I like all the little surprises, and unsure!Sherlock.

I like this: The unexpected moments when his hands shake. The unexpected moments when they don't.

Terrific fic. :)
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:19 am (UTC)
thank you very much! so pleased you enjoyed it (and that bit especially). *beams*

I think irisbleufic's lovely fic Perspective sent me in the direction of hand!fic and nervous first time Sherlock.
(no subject) - dominique012 - Nov. 8th, 2010 02:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fengirl88 - Nov. 8th, 2010 09:04 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:20 am (UTC)
thank you very much! I'm very glad it was what you needed.
(Deleted comment)
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:26 am (UTC)
thank you very much! that's a lovely comment and makes me very happy. *beams*
selkie
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:25 am (UTC)
I am squealing with pleasure right now! Just hot and beautiful at the same time.
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:29 am (UTC)
thank you for the squealing! very glad you enjoyed it so much.
turante
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:26 am (UTC)
Oh sweetie, you wrote about hands! hands! <3
And John in control of the situation is amazing, being cheeky and taking things litterally, I adore him.

I'd offer you a hand massage if it didn't sound inappropriate. :P
*is off to write porn too, because everyone else is*
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:28 am (UTC)
now you made me wake up my poor neighbours again!

*laughing much too loud at your comment*

*and looking forward to seeing your porn*

this is so not what I was supposed to be spending time doing. hey ho.
(no subject) - turante - Nov. 8th, 2010 01:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fengirl88 - Nov. 8th, 2010 01:36 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - turante - Nov. 8th, 2010 01:41 am (UTC) - Expand
tehomet
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:46 am (UTC)
Delightful and incredibly hot. Loved John's glee and Sherlock's rapidly-melting uncertainty. :D Fab.
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:47 am (UTC)
thank you very much! so pleased you enjoyed it. *beams*
darthhellokitty
Nov. 8th, 2010 01:54 am (UTC)
Oh, that is beautiful, just lovely, and very hot.

Anyway, here they are, sitting awkwardly side by side on the sofa at 221b Baker Street, not sure where to start. Even after all these weeks of living together, well, sharing a flat, there are still so many unknown things about John. He wants to know them but he's not sure he's ever going to get the chance. Certainly isn't going to get it if neither of them makes a move soon, because Sherlock's really going to panic and run away, the way he almost has the last few times they've talked about doing this. He's already getting distracted again, his mind whizzing off into unrelated areas of speculation.

Poor thing is awkward, distracted, and ready to panic. Fortunately John knows what to do!

What he does is just spectacular. Sherlock has beautiful hands, and he's probably been looking at them FOREVER, and this is just the perfect way to start things out for him.

“I want to lie down,” Sherlock says urgently, because this is making him start to shake.

And it just goes on from there - the touching, teasing, and all - just so wonderful and hot, and the ice is broken. They're going to have so much fun from now on.
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:06 am (UTC)
thank you so much - yes, it's just as well one of them knows what he's doing! agreeing with you entirely about S's hands, and that J must have been staring at them a good deal already. this S doesn't see his own beauty.

and yes, I like to think they're going to have a lot of fun now...
(Deleted comment)
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:06 am (UTC)
thank you very much! glad you enjoyed it.
ginbitch
Nov. 8th, 2010 02:46 am (UTC)
For _me_?? *hugs the delicious fic of deliciousness*

_Thank you_! I love this piece so much - it has consoled me through my dark night of the ceiling...

Your writing melts my heart!

Xxxx
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:07 am (UTC)
*hugs you for the dark night of the ceiling*

thank you very much again! your comments always make me so happy.
kalypso_v
Nov. 8th, 2010 03:17 am (UTC)
I like the way John uses the listing of medical facts to calm Sherlock, even if he's hardly taking them in, just finding it enough of a distract

PS Oh, you got the word count thingy working! And you're a third of the way in, a quarter of the way through the month?

Edited at 2010-11-08 03:22 am (UTC)
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:10 am (UTC)
thank you - yes, it seemed to me that he would do that and that it would help!

and yes re. the word count thingy (oh lord, me and technology - but satisfying when it finally works). still wrestling with the plot, but trying not to worry about that...
(no subject) - kalypso_v - Nov. 8th, 2010 11:07 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fengirl88 - Nov. 8th, 2010 07:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
caffeineisgod
Nov. 8th, 2010 03:19 am (UTC)
klmhaxcmjb az;ls

You broke my brain.
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:11 am (UTC)
thank you very much! I love your icon btw.
(no subject) - caffeineisgod - Nov. 9th, 2010 01:33 am (UTC) - Expand
2ndskin
Nov. 8th, 2010 04:24 am (UTC)
oh so nice to find this! i've said before, this is one of my all time favorite pwps for so many reasons. and I love these incarnation of John (especially) and of Sherlock (awww--vulnerable!). so lovely! you always do those beautiful, lengthy, delicious tales following pwps, I wonder . . . ???? (maybe in December?)

*I offer you a kiss and a pair of silk gloves to use as you wish with whomever you wish*

(omg, I JUST remembered best hand porn on film--do you remember Age of Innocence? Daniel Day Lewis and Michelle Pfeiffer and gloves???? will try to find that tomorrow! )
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:12 am (UTC)
thank you so much! for the beta-ing, the comments, the kiss, the silk gloves, and the film rec. hmm, more distraction.

*ignores idea of film studiously*

*hugs you*

December - what's that?
(no subject) - 2ndskin - Nov. 8th, 2010 12:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fengirl88 - Nov. 8th, 2010 07:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
rabidsamfan
Nov. 8th, 2010 05:01 am (UTC)
Oh, lovely. That'll make for good dreams tonight!
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:13 am (UTC)
thank you very much! I hope it does...
anonymiss731
Nov. 8th, 2010 05:13 am (UTC)
*claps for hand porn* You rock hardcore! This was so damn sweet and intense and just so well written. *claps again* Bravo!
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:14 am (UTC)
thank you very much! *beams*

the applause is much appreciated. very glad you enjoyed the fic.
sallycandance
Nov. 8th, 2010 06:46 am (UTC)
This so incredibly beautiful! The pacing is perfect and Sherlock'S thoughts are so believable. BEST. First-time. Fic. Evah!
et_cetera55
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:28 am (UTC)
Oh this was brilliant! Sherlock's insecurity was perfect and John being gentle and strong was lovely!

Hand porn... so SO HOT!
(no subject) - fengirl88 - Nov. 8th, 2010 09:16 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fengirl88 - Nov. 8th, 2010 09:15 am (UTC) - Expand
warriorbot
Nov. 8th, 2010 08:13 am (UTC)
Seconding all the 'beautiful's here so hard. I love the way you've captured Sherlock's difficulty with switching off the analytical side of his mind and just enjoying the sensations. John's touching as beautiful (and yup - another handkink girl in the house.)

But most of all I love the way you captured the depth of affection between them but never once tipped over into schmoop. You have a way of portraying affection (in all your fics) that is just so perfectly IC and mood-perfect and new every time.

*admires*
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:20 am (UTC)
*glows*

thank you very much! so pleased you liked it. loving what you say about the affection in particular - that makes me very happy indeed.


Edited at 2010-11-08 09:20 am (UTC)
thinkpink20
Nov. 8th, 2010 09:33 am (UTC)
Absolutely and utterly delightful. Loved it. :)
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
thank you so much! very pleased you did!
the_thinktank
Nov. 8th, 2010 11:32 am (UTC)
Ooh, I do love a good bit of pwp :D
And I love this because it rings true. When is first time sex with someone NOT awkward and a bit wonky cause you don't know what they like or what to do. Then you add Sherlock into that mix and I think you did a fantastic job at keeping him in character with his thought process and actions/speech in such a scenario.
Plus, I love the mixture of sexual heat and loving comments/actions as well.
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:19 pm (UTC)
*beams* thank you very much! really pleased about all the things you liked here.
blaidd_drwg
Nov. 8th, 2010 11:35 am (UTC)
A wonderful 'first time' story. You made my toes curl in pleasure.
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:19 pm (UTC)
thank you! very glad you enjoyed it.

nice icon...
rosa_like_janj
Nov. 8th, 2010 12:06 pm (UTC)
Tell me please, there's gonna be more!!!
Please >_
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:21 pm (UTC)
well I thought of this as a oneshot, but I did enjoy writing this version of Sherlock (he's usually much more full of himself in the other fics I've written). so he might reappear...
irisbleufic
Nov. 8th, 2010 12:33 pm (UTC)
John holds him, kisses his hair and his eyes and his cheekbones and the point of his chin and the curve of his shoulder. Murmurs things they'll probably both be embarrassed about later but which just now feel like the best things anyone has ever said in the history of the world.

That's my favorite part, I think; it's such a lovely passage. And this piece has a clever theme to it; you take quite an innocuous expression and make the reader think about it :)
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:28 pm (UTC)
thank you very much!

as I said to dominique012, I think your lovely Perspective turned the fiction-producing bit of my brain towards hands and nervous!Sherlock in the first place, so it's lovely to get this comment from you.
rusty_armour
Nov. 8th, 2010 04:26 pm (UTC)
This was both touching and incredibly HOT! :-) I always find it endearing when Sherlock is inexperienced and/or totally out of his depth when it comes to sexual matters. I love the way John was so sweet and gentle with him. At the same time, it was great that he couldn't resist teasing Sherlock a bit. *g*
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:32 pm (UTC)
thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. *beams* I like Sherlock like this as well, and how John is with him - though I haven't done as much of this as of other variations on the two of them.
beansidhe_baby
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:34 pm (UTC)
Sherlock's not the only one who jizzed his pants O.O
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:44 pm (UTC)
excellent icon! I've been thinking of those rules in connection with NaNoWriMo but they work well for fandom too...

thank you very much for your comment!
volume1_page1
Nov. 8th, 2010 07:58 pm (UTC)
*fans self* that was sooooo good.
fengirl88
Nov. 8th, 2010 08:03 pm (UTC)
thank you very much! so glad you liked it!
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